Her Daughter’s View

The most common thing people say about loved ones passing is probably “God always take the good ones first, huh?” So far in this life, I haven’t come across the loss of a loved one that has made me believe anything different. My cousin Tyler, at just 16. My saint of a grandmother, and most recently, of course, my Mom. God always takes the ones we wish could live forever. It seems so cruel and unfair for us, but gosh I am so happy that those wonderful people got to go home to Him and the kingdom of Heaven.

My very best friend and I, going on probably 10+ years of friendship, have gone through some of the hardest years of our life together. From break ups, to acne, to lacrosse team, and now to this. Her and spent every weekend together, swapping back and forth at each other’s houses, and spending summers together until we “grew up.” Not that we ever wanted that to stop, but I don’t know how my husband would feel about me still having sleepovers with my best friend at 25. We were drawn to each other because we are the same person. I don’t mean it in a cute funny way, I mean it in a literal way. We have the same personalities, the same likes/ dislikes, and always felt like we had the same parents. Our parents were so similar, that we both were always so comfortable at each other’s houses, because it felt like home. To this day, we always called each other’s parents out “2nd Mom & Dad.”

So in true bestie fashion, when I said before that we are the same person, I didn’t exclusively mean all good things. My mom had been sick for a couple years before she’d gotten really bad, and she was there for all of it, to cry with me and laugh with me, and just be there. So, when her Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, I did the exact same for her. When we found out that it was just a matter of time before we lost Mom, she was there. And when my mom died, she was there, front row at the funeral with me, mourning her “2nd Mom.” And now, present day, her Dad’s cancer has spread to more places than we can count, and God only knows how much longer we all have with him.

25 is too young to lose a parent, I will die on that hill. And while I fought with God a lot over the year, wondering why he took my Mom, why he is making me go through this pain, why any of it is happening, He answered me. The reason I went through what I did, I am certain, is because now, when my sweet sweet friend has to go through the same thing, I will be right there, and I will know exactly what her heart is feeling, and most importantly, I will know that there is nothing anyone can do or say, and I will just be there. Next month, she and I are going to spread some of my Mom’s ashes on the beach, her very favorite place in the world. And all I can do is thank God that he gave me someone that I could call crying, and ask “Can you come with me to spread some of my Mom’s ashes on the beach,” and her not even skip a beat before telling me “absolutely I will,” and immediately requesting off work to be with me.

And while I still don’t know why God is putting us through this, I am so dang grateful that he gave me M to go through it with.